Happy Easter friends! I hope this beautiful Sunday was kind on your soul. It was a beautifully crisp spring day and very productive.
It was also the first Easter celebrated without ham or eggs or a basket or decor or tradition. We aren’t religious and while I do favor the bunny and pagan traditions- we opted to do some cleaning and chores. It was nice. It was different.
Confession time: I struggle with holidays and celebrations. I’m always left with a sadness. Please, don’t get me wrong, I love the aspect of planning and bringing visions to life. I want to create something unforgettable and over the top to to show my guests how much I love them. I put my heart and soul into every inch of planning. To fill my guests with peace and beauty. Unfortunately, over the years my gift – the gift of a thoughtful party to celebrate someone or something – has been answered unfavorably. Someone always complains or has other plans and must rush over to the next big thing.
What this simply translates to: I’m a victim of my own expectations. Over the years – I’ve stopped putting the effort in. I’ve stopped caring about the intimate details. I’ve lost the joy. I think I’ve become complacent in my own misery. Ha – that did not mean to sound so dramatic.
You can’t force magic and you can’t recreate it. Everyone wants to be a part of the creation – which can violate my vision. Matt reminds me of these two things (often): life is not a Hallmark movie and my idealism of how family should act is destructive to me and that I should focus on creating the thoughtful magic for those who will appreciate it.
I take family seriously and while some olive branches are beyond reproach- there are some that need watering. Starting with my own.
I did not intend for this post to feel so heavy. So ugly. So honest. But I’m musing. In this spring evening, I am cautiously optimistic that the future holds more celebration and more magic. I am excited to continue to delight.
I do hope you find some delight in this week ahead. I look forward, as always, to our Sundays together.
Xo love kim
