I’m starting this post as a late Saturday mood. It’s a big mood. I’m watching the Golden Girls at 2 am with the Saturday lingering like some aphrodisiac.
I need to start by saying that this is not the original post I had planned. I wanted to make poignant commentary on the current events, but sometimes, most of the time, those thoughts are too heavy. I’m not a religious person, but I have been praying to whomever will listen to protect the people of Ukraine. To protect this world. To help turn on the light.
As with Sundays though, there are routines and tasks that must be done. By the way, it’s almost 12 pm now. I’m perhaps a little worse for the wear forgetting that my 37 year old self is not as equipped for late nights and cocktails with friends as it used to be.
I think that’s kind of beautiful in a way. The wrinkles, the laugh lines, the ability to feel youth that is fleeting… and the quick reminder of how far I’ve come.
If I’m perfectly honest, my friends… I’m struggling with time and age and purpose. I want to start something or change something – but I don’t know what that is or what that means. I feel like my 16 year old self who is being asked “what do you want to do with the rest of your life?” I had no idea then and still don’t.
Please don’t misunderstand- I’m happy with what I’ve accomplished and what I’ve done and where I’m at – but I want more. It’s like intermission is quickly approaching and I need to figure out the plot for ACT 2. I’ve cast the characters so that’s a start.
Sorry I’m speaking in a lot of metaphors. My hungover brain can’t make sense of the war inside my brain or outside in the world.
What about you?
Xo love kim