For anyone who has ever seen Sex and the City (the movie), you know that Miranda gives Carrie some wickedly good advice.
I have a lot of friends who have moved into their boyfriend’s houses, built memories, decorated… but they have absolutely no equity. As a smart and successful modernly traditional queen – I’m not going to risk that. I’m putting money into this house and you better damn well believe I’m protecting my assets.
We’re not married. We will be married but we’re not now. Honestly – I can’t afford to save money for a house and my dream wedding (which one do you think will cost more? HA!). So – we’re getting a cohabitation agreement. Basically – something to protect both us in case of death, dismemberment, or breakup.
I pulled on my big girl pants and called a real-estate lawyer. I explained what I needed and to my surprise, was immediately shutdown. As soon as I opened my mouth: he went on to explain the following:
- Only one of us should buy the home
- The financial risk of both us isn’t worth the headache
- Our relationship will go south
I’m not exaggerating when I tell you I triple checked that I wasn’t talking to a divorce lawyer. Doom and gloom, and his advice directed me to not do this.
Dude definitely hasn’t seen SATC the movie.
To be honest: I didn’t feel empowered, I was mad. First of all, no. Secondly, and most importantly, I don’t think that the assumption of relationship failure is really what a successful relationship is based on.
Our mortgage broker (the most adult thing I’ve ever said) was floored when I asked him about the cohabitation and lawyer’s “sound” advice. While the internet is filled with golden information, it’s also filled with absolute garbage.
We don’t need a cohabitation agreement and we can both purchase the home: 50-50. No legal agreements necessary prior to the purchase.
If you find yourself in a similar situation: Call someone. Our mortgage broker broke everything down for us and made everything crystal clear.
xo love kim